My spiritual awakening

You can be as great as anyone but there is only one great you!

Welcome to my blog. Here you will find details regarding how my spiritual connection began.

What is behind your eyes holds more power than what is in front of them

My Journey

Life… What is life, why are we here? Are we just here to be or is there something more? What’s the purpose of doing good or bad? What steers us in the right or wrong direction? How do we know which way to steer? Who’s the one that knows?

Without knowing who you are, life will always be steered by society, traditions, and others telling you what is right or wrong. We lose grip of intuition and live a mirrored life of what others expect to see in themselves. Society will always be the judge of what you wear, what you do and how you act. Leaving you with little to no sense of what makes you happy. We no longer have a sense of what happiness is. We have more of a sense of void and have forgotten what happiness truly is. Happiness doesn’t occur from acquiring objects, relationships, and money. It occurs when one finds themselves and is guided by you, the real you. How do we find the real you? Well we start with the source. Which source? The source that created everything. The source that has no beginning or end. The source that you can not see, hear, or touch. Once you connect with the source you are able to find yourself and finally take the right steps to live life with a purpose. Let’s take birth into consideration. We spend nine months in a womb, in darkness, developing and being nurtured by our mother. We have no control over ourselves, yet we grow and develop each passing day. At this point do you believe you are, you yet? No, not until your birthday when you see the light for the very first time and you breathe your spirit into your vehicle. Then that’s you. As a baby you fully depend on your mom to feed you, bathe you, and nurture you. At this point your starting your new life in a new world. A new world being molded by your parents and instructed to you. That is how you know, for example: What a toy is, what a tv is, what this means and that means. You know this because that is what you are taught. As you grow you start learning more, but never are you taught how to search inside you for questions and answers. That never rises as an option of teaching. It’s more like you do this because this is how it’s supposed to be, and this is what is right, and this is what is wrong. How do you know if what they are telling you is right or wrong? You don’t, so you respect and follow just as they did and as the many generations before them did as well. As our generation develops, we can break these chains. We can teach our children differently. They don’t have to continue growing up blindfolded, the possibilities are endless.

How is it that we wake up from this nightmare!? How do we unravel the world that we have been tied to and create a new one? Do we just wait to experience death and wake up in heaven or hell as they call it, or could there be a chance that we can be reborn into a new life now? I say it’s worth a try. I would like to share my story with you and encourage you with hope. You don’t have to feel alone. You must understand that there is something bigger and more important out there, than the world that has been pulled over your eyes.

My awakening began during a very difficult time in my life. Even though I wasn’t aware nor ready for it, it happened. A week prior I was going through a very difficult time with my teenage daughter. She has been transitioning through what you may call the teenage torment of living with a stepfather, the peer pressure of being someone that needs to be accepted by this society, being influenced to perform many of the ignorant challenges that are occurring on social media and not knowing who she is. As are the millions of other kids in this world. It is so important that we connect with our spirit, so that we can guide this generation in the right direction. If we don’t stop what’s going on, our humanity will be lost. We will be raising robots rather than human beings. On Sunday, 1/28/2018, I woke up with the thought of researching on the web for the best movie of Jesus Christ ever made. Ten of the most popular movies came up on the google search. I was drawn to watch the Jesus of Nazareth movie of 1977. Mind you, I am not a person to go to a church religiously every Sunday nor ever practiced any religion. I simply grew up in a Cuban culture where the tradition was always to go through the catholic sacraments growing up, taking baptism pictures, communion pictures and so forth. I paid little to no attention to the classes I went through to complete those sacraments and was very far from interested. However, I was always curious about the afterlife and knew there had to be something more to life than just living and dying. As I watched the movie it was as if I was connecting with this compelling story of this man that has been part of our lives from generation to generation. His story touched me in places that I didn’t even know existed. I watched the miracles he performed, the many people he selflessly helped and how he died and suffered for what he believed in. He was criticized and beaten for trying to show the people that they can be free. Have a direct connection with God always without material sacrifices, without religion, and that if you believed and understood his teachings you too could be reborn, free of sin and saved. He taught love above all. He taught that to receive a true rebirth, you must let go of all ties to this world including all past traumas, lies, ego, addictions, denials, forgiveness of your enemies and thus your reborn and rewired with pure thoughts that exclude you from sinning again. How? Let’s just say your whole way of thinking will be completely rewired once you are truly reborn. Jesus’s teachings are so profound that they have the power to change your whole life. You just must be willing to open your heart and accept that your blindfold must be taken off so that you can be reborn, awakened or enlightened whichever term you wish to use. With this said, be warned that the experience will be very painful but well worth it. This is the understanding I received from the movie. The movie opened my heart which was the first step towards my awakening. I stayed very thirsty for more knowledge after watching the movie. I was so compelled by the movie that I shared the link of the movie to my 11-year-old twin daughters and shared it with my 13-year-old oldest daughter. Out of the three only one of my twin daughters watched the movie. The other two were not interested. I wanted to find out more, so I went on Netflix the same day and watched the bible series. This one was not as good as the first movie I watched but it summarized the bible well, with a Hollywood twist to it. Upon watching the series and now having a clear visual of the bible, I was suddenly even more interested. There must be more to this than just these stories.

So, the following morning I embraced the idea of reading the book that is always being suggested to be read during many times in your life. It’s suggested during happy times, sad times and always in general. I’m talking about the holy bible. My thought was I’m never going to finish reading this book, but I must start somewhere. I decided, I’m going to read it and maybe once I’m done reading I will be guided to the right church. The thought of church came to mind because I wanted to be more involved in the community and to draw my children into a different world. To a world where morals are constantly taught and try to keep them away from this corrupted society as much as possible. That was my mindset then. I proceeded to read the bible. I started off with the book of Genesis. In Genesis, God depicts exactly how all is created and I understood that is how it is. Didn’t question it at that point, I just read and took it as it was said. I read it and understood it to be true. I stopped reading for a bit and called one of my childhood friends that I’ve known since I was in the 8th grade. She grew up in a Christian household and has always followed the Christian faith. She believes in the end times and follows her life based on the Christian teachings she grew up with and is awaiting Jesus with an open heart. Working hard every day to live a Christian morally correct life so that when the rapture happens she is not left behind. I’ve always been very close to her because growing up we were always compelled by the end times, looking forward to the new promised world where the pain and suffering would be gone. Where we can live in bliss together with the ones we love and have lost, forever. Since we grew up together, with this dream she was the first one I called to share how I was feeling about Jesus and what I had learned so far. I was so excited to tell her how I understood now who Jesus was and I was forever grateful for the things that he had done. I told her how I had opened my heart to him. While speaking to her I was also discussing some of the issues I was experiencing with my teenage daughter and seeking advice from her since she has one too. During the conversation I received a phone call from my teenage daughter’s school and had to cut the conversation short. My daughter was yet again having a melt down and I had to pick her up early. I picked her up from school but this time I felt different, I felt as if I needed to take a different approach than the one I kept taking. I stayed very quiet in the car and just let her speak and cry. I was driving in circles, driving towards the house, but then deterring back to the road not wanting to go home. I parked the car at home and I told her, let’s go have lunch before deciding to what the next step was going to be. At that moment I felt that longer we stayed out the smoother everything would be. We stayed quiet in the car and drove to the fast food restaurant and picked up some lunch. As I drove in silence I was quietly speaking to god. Asking god to help deter her thoughts so that she doesn’t continue feeling the way that she does. So that I don’t have to take her back to the place that didn’t help her with her first incident. Once I finished the prayer we were stopped at a red light, I held her hand and told her how much I truly loved her. I asked her if instead of going back to the place she was previously in, if she preferred to stay home with me and perhaps consider watching the movie I had suggested to her the day prior, perhaps even attend her tumbling class afterwards. She cried and agreed that she would like that very much. Later that day, I called my friend back and discussed what we were previously talking about a bit more. She gave me a bit more insight regarding the holy spirit and how it feels to receive it. She mentioned how I should consider finding a Christian church to be rebaptized in so that I could officially receive the holy spirit. I told her that I wasn’t ready to receive the baptism yet because I felt that I wasn’t ready. I didn’t want it to be just something where they pour water on my forehead and then poof, past life is gone. I expressed to her that I believed that when you truly receive the holy spirit it’s not like what she has seen, where you see many get baptized and continue making the same mistakes. She believes that if you receive the baptism of the holy spirit you are automatically saved even if you make mistakes repeatedly, because since we are humans we are bound to sin at any given moment and that was the purpose of Jesus dying on the cross, to forgive our sins in advance. However, if we go back to his teachings he says that “I tell you the solemn truth, unless a person is born of water and spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. What is born of the flesh is flesh, and what is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not be amazed that I said to you, ‘You must be born from above.’ The wind blows wherever it wishes, and you hear the sound of it, but do not know where it comes from and where it is going. So, it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.”

Therefore, what I understood was if one is truly reborn they cannot sin anymore because the holy spirit will keep you from sinning, you are completely rewired. Therefore, I told her I was not ready, because being reborn would mean I would have to let go of my whole life and I considered that rebirth as a second chance in life that I could not and will not take for granted. It was a very serious matter for me. She kept trying to console me that it wasn’t that difficult, that It was ok to sin every once and while and to deter from the path because since we carried the holy spirit god always can endlessly forgive us. I left it at that and thanked her for hearing me out and being there for me.

I continued reading the bible and the thought of the “Gays” arose in my head and I wanted to search up where in the bible it speaks of the gay people and why are they always being condemned that they will not be allowed in the kingdom of god. I feel like it’s a touchy subject that I want to convey in this writing. It’s part of the questions I’ve always had. It’s a subject that judges many. In the bible I came across this writing.

God’s Righteous Judgment

You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. Now we know that God’s judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. So when you, a mere human being, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment? Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?

But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God’s wrath, when his righteous judgment will be revealed. God “will repay each person according to what they have done. To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life. But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger. There will be trouble and distress for every human being who does evil: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile; but glory, honor and peace for everyone who does good: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile. For God does not show favoritism.

I am left at this. In my opinion, our bodies are merely vessels that carry our spirit during our voyage here on earth. The vessel is guided by our spirit. Our spirit is neither male or female. The only way to truly repent is if you “Yourself” admit to “Yourself” that you are wrong. You need to feel and know what is wrong and right, not be told what is wrong or right. Our DNA is programmed the wrongs and rights eternally whether you remember them or not. They are universal laws. That are learned through proper guidance or being awoken by the “Holy Spirit”, “Spirit of God”, “Higher Self”, “Buda” and the endless names given to the same consciousness. What is considered wrong in the universal law? Performance of sexual acts out of lust instead of love. You know when this is the case because you will internally feel guilty about it. That’s where you should question am I feeling guilty because society is making me feel guilty or is it because I performed an act that just brought me temporary pleasure and I wasn’t experiencing an emotion of love at that moment. In my opinion, from what I have learned during this time, acts performed out of lustful pleasures is what creates the “sin”, “fault”, and guilt not the gender of the sexual partner you used to perform the sexual act with. A “sin” or “fault” is born upon having the feeling of guilt preceding the act. What is most important is to make sure that the guilt is not being infused by others rather than yourself.

Moving forward, I continued reading the bible and read some of the stories about Noah’s ark, Moses and so forth until I arrived at Jacobs story. In Jacobs story, I realized that my life was very comparable to his. Jacob was a deceiver that obtain much of the things he acquired during his journey with convenient deceits and tricks to obtain the material things he thought he needed in life. This made me think of an occurrence in my life. That led me to think back how I acquired the supposed house of my dreams and forever home, that I just sold a few months ago. During the purchase of this home we almost lost the opportunity to close on it 3 times. Things did not happen easy. To the point that we almost canceled the contract and took the money we had earned from the previous home we sold and moved out of state. I obtained this home with manipulated tricks that turned out ok in the end, but it wasn’t the right way to do it. I bent the rules to obtain it, because it was my dream to obtain this home. It was a way to give a gift to my kids and build the idea in their head that we were successful parents and hoped to earn them a place in society where they could show off the feeling of living within a successful family. With this home I was able to give each child their own room with the given individual space, came the feeling of loneliness between them, and the endless separateness of their sisterhood. To the point that they would even have sleepovers with each other because they missed each other so much. The home came with a beautiful pool along with a higher electric bill, cold water in the pool because we had a non-working heater, and the counted times that we used it. It was a nice prize to showoff though, so we thought. At first, we had many barbeques and many people came over the first year and then no one would come at all. So here we are spending thousands on a home with no one to share it with. We acquired a ridiculous amount of credit card debt because since the house had 6 bedrooms and 3 baths I had to fill and decorate every single space. Since I was all about tradition I wanted to make sure that everything I purchased was expensive and of well quality so that it could be passed on to my kids and they would use it as well. I had very short experiences of happiness during these adventures which then were followed by tremendous amount of spending guilt. It all took a turn for the worst. Eventually we filled all the credit cards to the max, along came many trips to the hospital because of the stress I was having and was left feeling miserable. To the point that I almost lost my marriage. Towards the breaking point, I was at the gym working out and started thinking about my life. I was asking god for help. I asked god for guidance and the ideas of selling my house and moving out of state came to mind. After discussing the ideas with my husband, I quickly called my realtor and we listed the house. Prior to the listing I came to visit my brother in Austin, Tx and decided that this would be the next place I wished to reside at. On my return we listed the house and the house had multiple contracts within a 7-day period. We moved over to Texas within a month of listing the house. We paid some of the debt we owed from the home we sold and have some reserves but not enough to liquidate the remaining credit card debt, but we are working towards it. Here in Texas we feel at home and have our needs filled. We feel a sense of freedom. I learned that material things will never make us happy. When I related to Jacob’s story I was able to reflect on my own experience and repented for it deeply. I repented for not letting myself be guided in the right direction. If I had followed my heart and took the step my heart guided me to do from the beginning when things were not going in the right direction with the purchase of the home. I would’ve avoided the credit card debt and could’ve been living here all along without the debt. Instead, I fought for what I thought was the best life I could offer my children. Now I realize why everything unfolded so quickly with the sale of the house and how everything fell into place so quickly for us. I learned a lot from this experience. I learned that your heart always knows best. I was greatly criticized for this move because this move drew me apart from family and friends, but I knew this is what I had to do. I thank god every day for guiding me here.

Later that day I went to lunch with my husband, but things were already starting to look different to me. The surroundings didn’t seem the same something was changing. The conversations I had with my friend the day prior was still in my thoughts and the rapture subject was still very imprinted in them. So, we went to have lunch in this place called torchy’s tacos and I was like “man this place seems very satanic”. There were many bulletins depicting satanic writings and they marketed the restaurant in that way. It was very weird to me at that moment. During the whole lunch time I was discussing with my husband all the things I had been reading about and I was discussing with him how I wanted to take the girls to church and how I wanted us to start living a godly life and my husband said to me that he wasn’t ready for any of that and he doesn’t feel the need to go to church because he believes that all churches are corrupted. I respected what he said but inside I didn’t like it, I started thinking how I will make this work if he doesn’t want to be a part of it. I prayed to god to open his heart so that we could make this work. While sitting in the car I expressed to him that I was feeling a bit nauseous from the lunch we had, and he looked at me with a face of denial stating that what if I was pregnant. I told him “well then let’s take a test”. We bought the test went home and performed the test, but it was negative. I didn’t think much of it. The rest of the day I continued to read the bible some more read some of the laws, but they didn’t really call to my attention much, so I decided to skip to the new testament where Jesus’s teachings were located. The laws are much more well explained and taught better here. While reading I was doing laundry and got up to check on the laundry but something came over me in that laundry room. It broke me into pieces all sudden everything that I had felt guilty for in my whole life came upon me from start to finish. It through me to my knees a sense of repentance that I had never felt before. I asked god to forgive me for having judged everyone so much, for murdering. Yes, murdering, I had an abortion prior to my twin pregnancy something I carried with me for a long time. My brother who passed on in 2014 was the one who accompanied me to do this. During this repentance I felt as if god had made a covenant with me for repenting and that he would resurrect this child in me. Which then led me to believe that I was pregnant. My Husband over heard me sobbing and he came to comfort me but there was nothing that could comfort me I couldn’t bare to have anyone touch me it felt as if I had killed someone. I felt so ashamed of everything I had done throughout my life. I felt an immense sense of gratitude towards god for still allowing me to breathe, for keeping me alive so I thought all these years. When I used to believe I was alive when I was merely dead all along. I was in disbelief how the source that controls all, is giving me this very moment, this very breath, oh how great is he! How even though I have denied him this whole time he never gave up and without me knowing has seen me through everything. That is the day I was thrown to the floor to my knees and repented my sins and learned what true gratitude was. I walked out of the laundry room and this is where everything started talking to me. I felt a sense of synchronicity with everything. Walking out of the laundry room my kids were listening to the song “Little did you know” by artist Alex and sierra and the song went on and told me exactly what I needed to here in that moment. I felt as if it was god talking to me through the song. As if he was telling me that even though I wasn’t ready to embark this journey he was going to take me through it. All I would say inside me was how much I was not ready to let go. My body was already feeling different I was starting to feel pressures in my chest tingles down my whole body. That night which was Friday I did not sleep. I felt as if I had a continual wave of data being downloaded into my system. Everything I had read, everything I had seen regarding the scriptures came alive, I started grasping a deep understanding of everything. It all became one word, one meaning and one universal law. Everything I read from different religions became one and I was able to see how each used to the word to manipulate everyone and to draw them in. To follow as the sheep, do. I started realizing how corrupt everything was. That night I started channeling information. As if I could tap into the spirit world and bring closure to whoever crossed my path. I reached out first to a cousin of mine that her dad just recently passed away with a message I felt that needed to be given to her. I relayed information that was unique to her and assured her that he needed her to move on and that they would unite once again. After my cousin I reached out to my mom and channeled to her a message from my brother. That message was more profound. That message contained information such as that your son is not missing. That the reason she feels that he is missing is because she has forgotten where we come from. She has forgotten that we were created and that once our physical death is over we reunite back to the source and in my opinion descend back to earth if we still have more lessons to learn, or if our mission is not complete. That due to this forgotten truth is why the emptiness resides inside her. I told her that her son was cured because of all the prayers and requests she made to god asking to cure him of his cancer. Every night she would pray to god even though every day she would see my brothers body deteriorate more and more. He relayed a thank you to her for keeping the faith and finally releasing him from the pain and suffering. He wanted me to tell her that she would never comprehend the pain and suffering that he was going through on earth. Many details were relayed during this conversation with my mom, but I knew that was not me talking. Where could I gather so much information and express myself the way I was doing so in that message. I suddenly felt as if I had a long line of spirits outside of my door waiting to speak to their loved ones to give them closure so they can move on. That night I also felt as if my husband’s grandparents were in the room as well. My mind wouldn’t shut down. I tried over and over to go to sleep, but the information was coming through at the speed of light. I texted my best friend quotes regarding Disney movies such as Pinocchio and Alice in Wonderland. I told her the specific quote “ I’m late I’m late for a very important date no time to say hello good bye I’m late I’m late I’m late!” As if the doomsday clock was running out. The thoughts of the rapture were very vivid that night. I really thought it was about to happen. Like I mentioned before since very young I’ve always been fascinated by a dawn of a new beginning, bliss and so forth. Therefore, I’ve always researched a lot about it. I had been following for some time now a website regarding a planet by the name of “Niburu” or “Planet X” as they call it. I even dared to email the editor of that website letting him know that everything that he was speaking of was true and that the red dragon was the red planet that was going to clash to earth and that I was the woman described in revelation 12. I waited patiently for him to write back but he never replied. During that same long night, I had the occurrence of Revelation 12 which was described a lot in this website. All sudden all the information was pouring on me I felt foolish for continuously asking myself the same questions repeatedly. Seeking information in the outside when all the answers are inside me “Seek and you shall find” I thought. I thought what if this was the last day of my life? What would I do with it? Would I say that I’m not willing to let go of the grasp I have of the physical, but what it that was no more? Will I then appreciate it more? These were thoughts of self-reflection I was having at that time. Each passing day is a shot that you get at making it right once that day is gone you will never get it back. The past is the past and the future is the future, you have no control over any of them. The only time you control is now. That “now” that you have is the time you are given to make the best of in good ways. Why don’t I just do that not worry about the past or future just focus on now. Because the future is not promised what is promised is the “now”. That night I could not contain my joy due to the sense of knowing I felt. The knowing and wisdom of truth I felt. I tried piecing things together that night like I mentioned such as if I took the 1260 days that were mentioned in revelation 12 and divided them by 30 days I arrived at my brothers age of death which was 42 at the time. At that time, I believed my brother was the archangel Michael that was depicted in revelation 12 the king warrior that is to fight the dragon in the end times. I then believed to be a decedent of Jacob the deceiver. The great eagle described in the revelation related to be because I am an American and the eagle is the one who carry’s the pregnant woman to the desert. Which this revelation of the eagle was the one the pushed me to prophesize the winning of the eagles in the Super Bowl. The revelation describes that the woman is given wings to escape from the dragon (wings aka freedom another representation for the freedom we have in the USA). I realized my name stood for the fair one. I was born in the United States. I felt that this assisted the fact that I would have wings to escape from the impending coming of the dragon. I then calculated the year my brother died which was 2014 I subtracted that from the year we were in and arrived at 4 then I added the age of my smallest daughter which she is three and it summed up to 7 which is the number of god. This was my mindset that night not having knowledge of what was going on with me. I was just going with the flow. Nothing made sense for the ones I was talking to, but it made perfect sense to me. Then I continued thinking that the current president is holy and so forth. That night was very crazy for me it almost seems as if my youngest daughter was going through the experience with me as my symptoms would become more pronounced my daughters fever would rise and rise. She started a fever the same week my awakening started. She had no other symptoms other than fever and progressively get worse as I progressed. I have no idea why till this day maybe it was my energies? No idea yet, I am still trying to make sense of this till, this day. That same night my husband woke as well as he was startled to see that I was still awake. We spoke about what was going on and felt connected with me without understanding why. One of the twins also woke that night, well, morning it was around 4 saying that she could not sleep either. She just wanted to be close to me. I had some wisdom talk with all my daughters earlier that day and I guess it stayed with her. In that moment I felt as if everyone in my house was having an awakening at the same time as me. I felt as if we were all experiencing the same thing. It felt out of this world.

That morning, I showered but didn’t have breakfast I had no appetite what so ever I was feeding off the information I was receiving and had little regard for food or water. That morning I was high on spirit. All I wanted was to savor each moment and spend as much time as I could with my loved ones. More synchronicities were happening this day. It was a day full of mixed emotions of fear, happiness and confusion. The earlier part of the day was filled with fear it started with all us wanting to go to I hop for breakfast, but my smallest daughter wanted to stay home. She always throws some tantrums before our outings and we have different adverse reactions with the outfits she wants to wear. I had to go make a deposit to the bank, but this sudden rush of fear told me that if I went alone I would have a car accident and die. These are all thoughts I was having in that moment. So, while I was having those thoughts I convinced her to get dressed and she decided to wear a Halloween outfit. I felt as if it was ok to let her express herself today and I allowed her to wear that outfit, to me it didn’t matter what she was wearing I just wanted to live the moment. As, we were walking down the stairs she says that she hears someone at the door knocking. No one heard the knock ,nor was there anyone at the door I still opened the door, but felt chills come up my spine and I felt a great sense of fear. I felt as if death was at the door, so I remembered at that time what I learned from Jesus when he said to welcome everyone in your house. So, at that moment I felt as if I just had welcomed death into my home. I continued with the plans to go make the deposit and have breakfast but decided that instead of going alone to the deposit I decided to go with everyone and prayed to god that if we were to get in accident for him to take me and leave everyone else safe. As we got in the car I really thought this was real I felt like the clothes my small daughter picked depicted death and that I was about to die. As we drove I was aware of all my surroundings I could hear the wind, the birds, the cars and every single little thing at the same time. Different songs were playing and they all spoke of the same things to me. The songs that came on were “Other side” by Red Hot Chili Peppers, “Hotel California” by the eagles (Reminded me of the revelation 12), “Final Masquerade” by Linkin Park, and they all pointed the end of time and the dawn of a new beginning. All I kept thinking to myself was is god preparing me to die, because all that I was experiencing was the same things people who have near death experiences go through. “Do I have some unknown disease and its about to blow up in my face? What is going on?” I asked myself. We drove for what it seemed liked hours. We arrived at I hop, and it was full, so we drove to Cracker Barrell and their we all got off, but the wait was about an hour long. One of the twins asked me about a decorative clock that was in display and asked me if I could read that time. I looked at the clock and it was 2 minutes till 12. The same time that the scientific doomsday clock is set to now. I softly replied to her that I was able to read the clock. We got in the car and ended up in the grocery store purchasing items to make breakfast at home. The whole day I spent talking to my daughters about the knowledge I had gained and would talk to them in wisdom speeches trying to open their eyes to the kind of world that we are living in. I felt as if they understood me, but they are still to young to understand. We arrived home, prepared breakfast and ate. I only had a few bites. We called my mother in law, and I asked her if she knew where the picture of her dad where he wore a button down white shirt with kaki pants. She replied that I had possession of the photo. Mind you the pictures I had were black and white and I was still able to relay the color of the shirt and pants to her and she confirmed it letting me know I had the picture. I felt like her dad wanted me to show her that there is another side. My mother in law is an atheist and does not believe in the after life because no one from the after life has come to prove her otherwise. I hope to one day help her find the truth so she to can experience peace and harmony in life as I am now, with the right answers. During that conversation my oldest daughter told her that I was pregnant and that it was a boy. The baby would be named after my uncle she told her. My mother in law was thrilled. We all truly believed I was pregnant, but that the test was not coming out positive because it was to soon. My daughters old phone kept ringing off the hook. I decided to pick up the call. A ding sound happened and then came the voice of an operator from a police donation center requesting my support. At that moment I believed that the editor from the website was testing me and calling me with an encrypted message. The operator asked questions like if I was a supporter of the “LAW” she pronounced that word with authority. She relayed the different tiers of donations that there was. The first tier was $5.00, then $15.00 and finally a maximum of $75.00. I said I wish to move forward with the maximum amount of $75.00, she then said thank you and that she was going to transfer me to the following department where they will take my payment details. The whole time I felt as if they were testing me. They asked me for my details and as they were about to finalize the payment they asked me I wished to round off my donation, I said “round it off to $100.00” I felt as I said “100” was my confirmation to them I that they had my 100 % commitment. They later told me that I would see the payment deducted from my bank account and they relayed the name of their foundation. I stayed very puzzled after that but didn’t try to make much out of it now. I was amazed of the synchronicity of the situation and left it as that. I wanted to reach out to all of the people in my life that meant something to me. I reached out to my best friend’s brother and had a full-blown conversation with him regarding philosophies. I spoke to him in such an educated and sophisticated manner that I had no idea I could even express myself that way. I sent a text message to a cousin of mine asking her to have her husband call me that I felt the need to speak to him about something. He never called me though. I texted and had a conversation with my daughter’s uncle, from her dad’s side of the family, where we discussed the matter of god and his beliefs. My daughter’s uncle is at a very enlightened state of his life and is very spiritual. I always seek out to him for advice and he helps decipher my thoughts. We both still have much to learn but we always come together in the end. As the day took its course my oldest daughter asked to have her best friend come over, so we went to pick her up. I thought to myself this girl is in my life this very moment for a reason, she must be saved and awoken as well. That is why god sent her to me. That day my twin daughters also had a friend come over. I prepared a nice dinner for them and we said grace in the table for the first time ever. All sudden the prayer made perfect sense. I understood why Jesus said, “give us this day our daily bread” and understood that meant that the bread was the day and that wine or drink that day was his blood which I understood that we would remember the sacrifice he made to save us. That was my state of mind at that moment. During the dinner I played the song “Hotel California” for my daughter’s friend and told her she was part of this whole experience because since she had relocated from California that is why she was here in this specific moment. We all had a good time during that time and I felt complete bliss. My daughter’s friend was also going through some tough times now and since my awakening I felt the need to help all of those that had crossed my path throughout my lifetime. That night I had a conversation with my daughter and her friend trying to help them understand the new things I had extracted from my experience of reading the bible and how it could relate to the times now. I was insisting to them to watch the movie “The book of Eli” I expressed to them that this was a movie that depicted how the religious hypocrites are always running after a truth that cannot be taught, a truth that’s imprinted in us from the beginning of time and carried over through our DNA. That is why at the end of the movie Denzel sits with a writer and starts writing the bible all over again from scratch. That is why at the end of the movie Denzel sits with a writer and starts writing the bible all over again from scratch. That is why the priest only saw dots and blank pages once he obtained the book. That’s exactly how it is in the real world we have a whole bunch of churches preaching and teaching what they don’t know themselves and lead everyone astray from the truth, and thus human sheep are created. These very same people are the ones roaming around the world as teachers, doctors, police officers and politicians and are the ones surrounding our kids daily. They are daily being taught right from wrong from people that might not have their own morals straight. That is why it is so important that as parents for us to be as instructed as possible. I thank god every day that I was able to wake up, so that I can be a better mom, daughter, wife and human being to those that surround me. I continued to press the subject with my daughter and friend how I understand that society can pressure them to doing things that they might not be comfortable with and expressed that social media is not necessary. I expressed to them how social media is just a place where you are exposed to be judged by others and how those people can determine how you feel on the daily based on how many likes or comments you receive from the pictures you post. I gave them the example of My Space to start. The dawn of social media sprung out of My Space where you were able to not only post pictures but tell your story through creative backgrounds, music and pictures. Then after My Space came Facebook where then the user gets stripped from the ability to express their own individuality and are only able to post pictures and write a description under it. Then after Facebook came Instagram. In Instagram your story is no longer important here you post a picture and await the many likes and comments about your pictures to boost your popularity. Lastly, we have Snapchat. Snapchat completely strips you from even being an individual here you get to be an animal and distort your voice to the point that it isn’t even you anymore. I tried to open their eyes to understand that they don’t need for people to like a picture or pressure them to being something they are not just to have the sense of instant gratification for a that one millisecond of happiness they get from that action. There is way more to life than just that. I ended that conversation at that and strolled downstairs, sat on the couch and read the bible some more. While reading the bible I started looking around my home where I’ve placed many quotes of family values and so forth. I felt a sense of knowing that family is what is most important, the life I have is what is most important. More of the gratifying feeling came upon me that night. As I sat on the couch I received a text message from a friend that lives near me. This friend grew up with me, but we lost touched through the years and coincidentally lives very close to me now. I say coincidentally but today I believe that nothing in life is a coincidence. She texted me to say hello and see how I was doing but I sensed that something was wrong with her. I told her that I felt she had a question that was troubling her. She answered that she had no question but rather a situation that was troubling her. She sent me an emoji of a pregnant girl. I was so thrilled and happy for her. I expressed how much of blessing that was and told her not be troubled. I asked her what god had told her about the child she bared. She told me that the problem was that she was confused whether her sadness was due to the hormones because she felt no excitement what so ever about the pregnancy. She said that her daughter was super happy about it but that she felt horrible for not being able to share the same feeling. I then told her that I was pregnant too. Mind you this whole time I truly believed I was pregnant. She was astonished by the news and congratulated me. I told her that I thought she knew and that was the reason she had called me. I look back at this now and understand why the ones around me might of thought I was going crazy at the time, but I know now that it was necessary in order to get to where I am today. I told her something drew her to me that day. She said she didn’t know what to tell me but that something sure did. She asked when I had found out and that how far along I was. I told her that I had just found out and that had started feeling sick a couple of days prior. She was astonished. I told her that she was pregnant for a divine purpose and that she couldn’t understand it at that moment and I told her that I believed the baby was a boy. She asked me if I had already gone to the doctor and said no. She asked if I was excited and I told her that words could not express the feeling because the way I found out I was pregnant was amazing. She asked if my brother was the one that gave me a sign. At that moment I cried because I couldn’t believe I was having this conversation with my friend and how she had mentioned my brother to me when the day prior I was channeling a message to my mom from him and all that he was a part of through the revelation and so forth. I confirmed to her that my brother was a part of it. She said that she had a feeling about it and relayed how awesome it was that my pregnancy had a connection with him. I told her about the covenant that I felt god had made with me, and that due to my repentance of the abortion I had he had blessed me with the resurrection of that child and that showed how god was a forgiving god. She expressed some level of shock and said to me that she doesn’t judge anyone for aborting because she doesn’t know the reasons behind that person’s decision and some situations were even a matter of life or death and that therefore she didn’t comment or judge. She said that her husband had even asked her if that is what she wanted since she had cried so much when she found out she was pregnant. I told her that I knew she didn’t judge but that there was a real judge that sooner or later will judge. She expressed that she has secretly hoped to miscarry not carry with the guilt of terminating her pregnancy. I told her that I testify that there is no greater pain that to murder your own child. I consoled her saying that god would never give you something you can’t handle and I asked her if she believed in god. She said that she believed there was a higher being or something superior to us but that she usually refers to Jesus since that is the name she was taught. I asked her if she would ever talk to this higher being she said she did. I asked her how she would get to him and she said through conversations and prayers. I told her to think about that. She said that she usually just waits for signs and moments that show her something or someone else lead her to that moment. I told her that what she uses to get to god is what saves her from the trouble she is having and that trust that god doesn’t make mistakes and that the child she was baring was a blessing. She said that she prays that her child was not punished for how she was feeling. I encouraged her to have a conversation with god but to first figure out what it is that she is using to get to god so that way she doesn’t feel like it is a one-way call. I asked her why she wished to kill her child. I told her to express to me exactly what she was feeling and that I wasn’t here to judge her in any way that I loved her endlessly and that wasn’t my purpose. She said that she couldn’t bring herself to abort. She expressed how she hated being pregnant and that she hated the fact that she wished she would miscarry and felt guilt because it made her feel like a horrible person because she knew that was her child. I spoke to her that night and we coincided in many instances with the story of Mary and Elizabeth from the bible where Mary visits Elizabeth to confirm Elizabeth’s pregnancy. I found it so exciting when she told me she was 12 weeks pregnant and that was how far along Elizabeth was at that time. Between the scriptures I sent her and all the conversations we were having we concluded our conversation with her feeling more acceptive of the pregnancy and feeling much better. I felt so happy after our conversation because I felt that I was of service to someone who needed good advice in a very troubling time of their life. Later that night I also texted my best friend told her to give a message to her husband advising him of the upcoming winning of the eagles in the Super Bowl and that in no way was my intention to upset him because I knew how much of a patriot fan he was. I told her to give him the message and that once they won for him to call me that I would then console him with what I was going through. As the night progressed I couldn’t sleep that night either. I was like a fully charged battery that had endless amounts of energy. That night I felt as if I was a computer having a new Microsoft program being downloaded into it. The following morning, I was already delirious but full of energy. My knowledge was more profound and every conversation I had I felt as if it had a double meaning to it. I was having moments where everything was a sign to me. Every commercial every channel I would switch to it was as if god was speaking to me through them. I literally felt as if I was in two realms at the same time. I laid on the couch with my hands freezing cold. I was covered, and it was hot outside but my hands and feet were freezing and so where the hands and feet of everyone in my house. As I laid in the couch covered I felt the need to cover everyone with me and did not release them until their hands felt warm again. Through this process I felt as if I was assuring they would cross over with me after Armageddon would happen. My older daughter that morning asked me if she could go watch the Super Bowl at her friend’s house and I agreed and to express to her the found trust I had in her I gave her back her cell phone that I had taken away from her in July of the previous year. I told her only to call me from that phone in case of an emergency and that if she wished to just say “hello” to text or call me from her friend’s phone. I did this, so she could understand that I was giving her space. She left with her friend and I stayed home with my husband and my 3 other daughters. We all decided to go have lunch after my older daughter left. We went to Panda Express and here I had another trippy experience. It was almost as if the whole time there were signs everywhere. As if god was giving me cues of the next things to come. I remember reading a bulletin that read “The fortune is in the 8”. We ate our lunch and left. My youngest daughter then wished to go to the park and I wanted to be everywhere but home I wanted to keep exploring all my surroundings searching for more clues of what was to come. This whole time I was waiting for something to happen. All I knew was that something big and good was about to happen. We arrived at the park and my daughter played with her sisters while my husband and I discussed what was going on. He understood me but really didn’t believe that there was anything I needed to do or anyone I needed to save. He would go with the flow not making much of it but for me it was like I was being programmed to be the next messiah or something of that nature. It was time to go and as we walked towards the car my youngest starting throwing a tantrum refusing to sit in her car seat wishing to sit in the back seat with her sister. I didn’t want to allow her to do this, but it felt like that was the right thing to do now and I did so. As my husband sits her in the back seat I sent a quick text to my nephew asking him if he was going to come join us to watch the Super Bowl. As we drove off the same very sense of fear came upon me they were giving commercials on the radio regarding lawyers for trucking accidents and things like that. The sudden thought that my nephew was going to be involved in accident scared me to the very end of my bones. As I arrived at my house my nephew sends me a text message that he was on his way to my house and asked him if he was coming with his wife. At the time his wife and I had not seen each other for while due to a previous dispute that we had that was resolved during the week of this occurrence. As I waited for their arrival I was sitting in the couch watching cartoons with my youngest daughter and I felt as if the cartoons where guiding me through his car accident I could feel the whole accident. Once the rush of accident passed I got up and they rang the doorbell. When I opened the door, I felt like I was seeing a ghost. I hugged them endlessly and right after the hug his wife shows me two charms he bought her for her Pandora bracelet which one of them were the white rabbit from Alice in wonderland! I was thinking to myself this cannot be I was just talking about this white rabbit yesterday. What is this? What is going on? Could this be real? They sat and as I asked these questions to myself I felt myself elevating more and more. They were having conversations with me and I was speaking the same language but inside me the whole conversation had a different meaning. The tv at the time was playing Elena of Avalor’s theme song and I felt as if I was going to be Elena in the new world that was about to dawn and that everyone that was going through this transition with me was going to be part of that kingdom. They were all going to be warriors. While they were conversating with me this is what I was thinking. After a few hours of us hanging out my nephew then departed, and I longer felt the sense that he was going to have an accident. Everything felt right. Did I just bend time and space and changed his destiny? Perhaps. Only god knows the answer to that. Upon him leaving I spoke to my mom having double meaning conversation with her. It was as if I was on the other side and that she was having this conversation with me but that she wasn’t ready to cross. I would tell her things like you need to cook come cook me my favorite dish and I expressed how much I needed her here with me. She told me that she couldn’t do so now and that she wasn’t ready to come yet. I took it as if she wasn’t ready to cross. After the conversation with my mom I then had a very similar conversation with my mother in law. Mind you all these conversations happened because they were the ones calling me I wasn’t reaching out to them. This was all happening in synchronicities. I was astonished by it all. I then received a call from a cousin that resides out of state and she is very big follower of the Christian faith I was telling her all about what was going on and expressed to her how much I needed my mom to cross over with me. That’s where it all went down I had an enormous meltdown. This is where my Armageddon happened and what initiated it all. This is where my doomsday clock arrived at the 12th hour. During that with conversation with my cousin our conversation was interrupted from a call from my mom. I cried to her telling her that she needed to fly in immediately because I felt very sick and that I was dying. I screamed it to her. She was very startled and asked for me to put my husband on the phone. My husband then spoke with her and heard how she asked what was happening to me and he said that he didn’t know but that I was not dying. When he told her that my whole world shattered before me. I felt as if there was an earthquake below me. My husband didn’t believe what was happening to me. I would tell him “I’m dying, I’m dying, save me I’m dying” I would tell my youngest daughter that was sitting next to him “help me please I’m dying” You must be thinking to your self she’s crazy how could she say that to a three-year-old. Folks, I tell you that I truly felt that I was dying. My twin daughters came down stairs frighten to death crying and saying “ Mami, please what’s happening to you, are you ok?” I would nod to them no and say “I’m dying! Please save me” At that point my husband told my mom that she needed to come immediately and that I was not ok and that he was going to fly her in but that he had to hang up to call the paramedics. While he was calling the paramedics, I would hear what he was saying but I was already passing on to another world now. I was crawling all over the floor coughing and holding my neck as if I was choking. I would compare it to the feeling Neo in the movie the matrix must have felt when Morpheus gave him the red pill and he felt this intense cold feeling and that metal liquid going down his throat it felt something very similar to that describing it from this point of view now. To me it was death. At that moment I was dying. The cops arrived before the paramedics did, but they gave a me a sense of ease now. They sat me down and I looked at their uniform and said to them “Hey, you guys are part of the foundation of whom I donated the 100.00 to.” “You have come for me I told them” The officer smiled at me and said sit down so we can hear all about it. I said “sure I’ll tell you all about it” They preceded to ask questions such as my age, name, how many children I had, what their ages were and as I replied the answers to them I felt as if they were just trying to verify who I was. It was a double verification one in this realm and another verification in the other realm. In the other realm I was the savior, the bringer of truth, and in this realm, I was just Jennifer. As they laid me in the ambulance I told them “you guys are taking me to the president aren’t you, its very important, he must know this truth because the red planet is coming” I would tell them. I also told them “you guys are all witnesses of what is happening, you won’t allow for this time for everything to go unnoticed we must let the world know that the time everyone has been waiting for is here and everyone must repent”. I know what you are thinking right now. Jennifer has gone “coocoo”. Once I complete this story and tell you what I know now it will all make sense I promised. Stay with me. As the EMT boarded me in the ambulance he asked me if I go to church, I said “no church sir, it is all in here” I pointed to myself. He chuckled and said, “be careful with the light above you so you don’t bump your head with it”. In the other realm I felt as he was guiding me through my death and this was very popular light they all speak of when they have their near-death experiences. The whole time in the ambulance we had a very normal conversation reflected from the state of mind I am now but at that moment it all seemed bizarre to me. It seemed as if the questions were being asked just to keep my pulse going. I had completely lost the sense of time from that moment on. As we arrived at the hospital, as the unloaded me from the ambulance I asked the EMT if we were in the Matrix right now. He replied, “We will just have to wait and see” The whole time I was anticipating and awaiting to see the president to give him the news of what was coming. The experience in the hospital was very deep for me. There was where I literally felt as if I was transcending multiple deaths and judgements of multiple entities such as Death, Satan, The president, My stepfather, and finally god himself. I met death in the bathroom. As the nurse question me I felt as If I was the judge in the other realm where the spirits come to ask their life long questions and get judged and released of all they had done. During my meeting with death there was even a point in time where I faced him and asked to turn around and watch me pee because that way I would pee faster. At that moment that was a way of me to express that I didn’t fear him. Now I feel embarrassed because I remember the nurse saying to me that she was just trying to give me a little privacy. We then moved on to the room and the next nurse that came in was the entity of Satan. This transition went smooth and I went through the same process of questions, answers, judgement and release of spirit. As time passed I would hear everyone around the hospital halls and I felt as if there were waiting all my deceased family members including my brother along with all the live ones too. It was such a blissful experience. As time progressed finally came the long-awaited entity of the president. I shook the hand of the nurse as if I was shaking the hand of Mr. Trump himself. This transition was a little different because now I could see his transition through a live movie that was playing on the Tv. The movie that was playing was translated to Spanish but through this movie I could see that the president had come to me asking how he could win the big war that was coming and I would see how the actor in the movie had conflicts with a brother and that in order for him to win this war he would have to become friends with that enemy brother he had so they could fight the war together. Once they did that the war was won. After the president came the entity of an old step father of mine. The part of the movie that was playing at that time was very disturbing. It was a man with a gas mask on raping a girl in the room while a camera was recording in the background. I couldn’t understand why my step-father formed part of this experience when he wasn’t part of the previous days. Until now is where I come to understand that he formed a very big part of a trauma that I experienced when I was seven years old where he molested me and bribed me to take some candy from him in exchange of him to touch my privates. Once I transcended him and after much time had passed I started noticing the similarities of the security guard with brother. At that time the movie that was playing, there were two fellows having whisky and smoking two Cuban cigars. To me in the other realm it seemed like that was my husband and my brother. The feeling was so comforting. It was as if the more I concentrated the more I could see my brother in the security guard. I even told him “You are my brother” the man said to me “I am not your brother, please go back to your bed” As he said that to me he made a gesture with his hand holding it close to his nose which was something my brother would do also. I smiled and knew that my brother was with me and laid back in bed. As I laid back in bed I knew time in the current realm was passing but, in the other realm I was in there was no time. All sudden I started getting the sense of knowing again. It was like the whole bible came alive in me all over again but in a different way. I felt god. I was god! I was right smack in the middle of Genesis and I was playing the role of the creator. I felt a sense of great power. A power like no other. I was building the sky, placing the planets in their place then building the planet. In the realm I was in time wasn’t present but in the other realm it felt like trillions of years had gone by. When I got the part that god was building the mountains I started getting up walking around, but I could not see I felt as if my eyes were open, but I couldn’t see anything. I was blind to the world in our current realm. I would tell them in a very strong voice that I want to see my husband and my oldest daughter. I would say I want to see my husband right now. I was speaking with the authority I felt I had now. I was God at that moment how could I not see or be with whomever I wish, right? As they tried to lay me down it took about what I thought to be 5 people to put me down. I would hear them say between them how strong I was. The whole time while they were trying to lay me down I was yelling out my oldest daughter’s name at full force. It was then when they finally laid me down and I accepted have the medicine put in my IV to put me to sleep. I sense that now while reflecting to that moment it was me trying to descend from the high vibration that I was in. I felt that if I didn’t accept the medicine I was going to stay stuck where I was, as god, creating for the rest of my life. I felt very appreciative of the experience god put me through but was also grateful for the life he chose for me to live here on earth and I very much wanted to live it. That is when I was put to sleep to only wake up to more confusion the next day.

The following day I was completely dazed and confused. I could remember everything that had happened but was unsure if it was real or not. At this point after everything I had just gone through what was real? What do we define as real? Is real what we see, hear, and touch? What happens when you turn off those senses and now are connected to the real on whole another level. That’s when the trip happens. Upon waking up from what seemed like a dream, I immediately asked the nurse for the phone and I called my husband. He was very happy to hear from me. He asked if I felt ok and said that he would be coming to pick me up. While I was waiting for him, I met with a social worker from the hospitals psychiatric department. He was a very nice young man. As we spoke I was still in the mindset that I was still thinking that all those people around me including the nurses and now him, were all part of the secret society that I now belonged to. That was my mindset at the time. I still was under the impression that somehow the president had cracked a code or had some hidden technology to telepathically connect to people. I mean, hey, anything is possible this day and age and there a lot of forms of technology that we don’t even know exist. I spoke to the gentlemen regarding my experience but It was a total blur at that moment due to the meds that had been administered to me. The memories were all there, but I was unable to express them at the time. The gentlemen expressed his compassion towards me and advised me that it will all be clearer as the days go by. He explained that the meds they gave me were very strong and that they had those types of effects. I felt very confused and frustrated. How could no one take this as serious as I did. This meant the changing of the whole world. I felt the urgency to get out to the world and help everyone on all levels. I wanted to reach out to all of those in need. I needed to reach the President to help him, to give him the message that I had for him. So that I could assist him in making this world a better place. When my husband picked me up, he was thrilled to see me. He hugged me and said that he loved me very much and that he was happy that I was ok. I expressed to him how grateful I was to have him in my life and how much I loved him. I expressed to him the level of confusion I was experiencing and asked him if what I remembered to be true was what I was exhibiting the day before. I looked for reassurance in him regarding what I had gone through to assure myself that it was congruent with my memories. My husband assured me that it was all true and that what I was saying was exactly what was happening but that he didn’t believe that had a mission to complete. He always pressed on the fact that what I went through was an individual experience and that god would never put me on such mission. My argument with him, was why not? Isn’t that how it happened to Jesus, Jesus didn’t know what he had to do until god came to him and planted his seed in his soul. Otherwise, why would god had shown me everything I saw and experienced. So, I thought. Days went by and the confusion slowly started to diminish but the urgency to get out to the world and try to help would only grow more and more with each passing day. I would look for signs and synchronicities everywhere to lead me to what I was supposed to do next. Each passing day the visions and memories would become more real. I’ve had to meet multiple times with the psychiatrist, to which has left her astonished at the fact that I went through such an experience and still have complete recollection of the complete event. I could detail word for word. I explained that to her how I knew exactly what was going on but had no control over it. It was as if my body and spirit were separate from each other. My spirit had completely taken over my body and it was the driver. She was astonished she said that she had no scientific explanation for what was happening to me. She said that what happened to me had characteristics of schizophrenia but that it wasn’t because 1: I was beyond the age to develop it and 2: I had complete recollection of what happened and that isn’t possible during a psychotic crisis. That individual usually does not remember what happened. I then asked her if it was bipolar disorder and she that It could and could not be, we would just have to wait and see how I would continue developing. The days continued to progress. As the following Friday drew closer, my anxiety started raising due to trying constantly to piece the puzzle pieces together. I kept asking myself what my purpose was, what was it that god wanted me to do. All these questions constantly present in my mind. I kept looking for clues everywhere. I would look up to the sky and started noticing anomalies that I had never noticed. Such as the moon appearing in broad daylight alongside to the sun. I was like is that the moon or is it Planet X. I would say I stayed with this mindset for about a two-week period. This period was full of synchronicities, depression due to the detachment I felt to the world, fear of losing myself or that I was losing my mind due to the reactions of those around me. It seemed as if every Friday through Sunday since the first experience happened the episode would want to reignite itself. However, the fear wouldn’t allow me to. It’s been a month or so since my awakening happened. I feel much different towards my experience now. I don’t have the same views as I did while I was going through it. During the experience I thought I was having a messiah experience because it’s a natural process one goes through when they have a Kundanali awakening. For those of you who may not know what this is, it is an intelligent and organic process that has a purpose, and works with that purpose systematically. The purpose is to work through all the illusions and knots in the psyche and reorientation the awakened person’s life into truth. It is a specific energetic experience that means all the knots and issues in your subconscious is resolved. Its actually very rare. Most people who have experienced some type of energetic experience are not experiencing a full awakening, but the beginnings of the movement of the Kundalini in the body. That’s is why during the last day of my experience that landed me in the hospital I felt an energy shift that awakened my level of perceptions that activated all of my chakras. This causes one to move into some strange modes of behavior, like I wrote about above. I realized I had a full Kundalini awakening experience because of the surge I felt when I believed I was dying. When I was at the stage in the hospital where I believed I was god, was when my crown chakra was fully activated and I detached from the world. Just to make something clear here, this awakening of energy has nothing to do with a person’s culture, religion, or country of origin. While the experience is generally described in yogic texts, its also known of and referred to in other spiritual traditions. It is the natural evolution of the human being, awakening to higher levels of consciousness. Traditionally these awakenings are initiated through strong yoga practices used to awaken the Kundalini. However, now its becoming more and more common for people to have awakenings without any kind of yoga practice or history, as it happened to me.

There are numerous symptoms which can include:

· Electric sensations like electricity in the body or internal lightening bolts

· Shaking and jerking in the body, usually totally out of the control of the person

· A sensation of insects or snakes crawling on the body, often along the spine

· Feelings of cold in the body, and conversely, feelings of intense heat in the spine or in specific chakras

· Waves of intense pleasure or bliss, even leading to orgasm

· Big emotional shifts or mood swings, well beyond the normal

· Sensory overload-sounds, lights, noise-everything becomes too much

· Strange internal sounds that no one else can hear like buzzing, musical instruments, or thunder

· Waves of apparent wisdom or insight into the way reality actually is

· Heightening periods of creativity

My awakening experience seemed like a very crazy and out of control experience. Due to the process of having to let go and face past traumas in order to continue elevating yourself, this is why it was such a painful experience for me. It meant the end of old ties, and old ways of being. Most people aren’t ready to let go of the known familiar, and so attempt to hold on to these situations. The attachment to the old and way of thinking is what caused me the immense suffering I went through. This experience was very harsh on me because I had no idea what was going on until now. I had no control of what was happening it was as if my spirit took over me completely and decided that it was time for me to go through this. That is why I’m sharing this information with you, so that if you encounter this process in the future you don’t go through the melt down I went through. Even though it might be inevitable. It all depends on the “monsters” you have hiding inside you. Once you’ve gone through this process the benefits of the awakening are very beneficial. You will start to experience deeper empathy with others, and this empathy can almost become telepathic. There is greater sensitivity, higher energy levels, sometimes psychic abilities. Like the one I experienced predicting the winning of the eagles. Im not a football fan nor do I ever watch the Super Bowl. There was no joy coming out of their winning for me other than listening to the humble speech they gave after their winning. The psychic abilities you may start to experience include a deep knowing, charisma can increase, as can internal peace and knowing. There is a sense of being part of All that is. The greater mysteries of life are no longer mysteries. It can be very scary, disorientating, dislocating and downright awful when the Kundalini awakens. A kundalini awakening will look like a mental illness, physical illness or emotional difficulties, like the ones I am currently passing through. Its difficult at times to figure out exactly what’s going on, all you know is something freaky is happening. I wouldn’t change my experience for anything in this world.